“So just listen, okay? I don’t know if I can say this or not. I’m still not sure about any of this, but Doctor Zee says it was important, and I believe him.”“Who is Doctor Zee?” asked Mindy.He glared at her. “Are you going to be quiet and let me talk?”She nodded, her lips firmly closed. She looked unhappy.“He’s my new shrink,” he said. “I mean he’s the resident shrink here, and somebody told him I was suicidal, so he came to see me.”“You’re -” Mindy started, but then chopped it off as his hand came up and he pointed directly at her. Then he took that finger and brought it slowly to his lips, in the universal sign to be quiet.“They asked me if I’d ever had thoughts of hurting myself. Like an idiot, I said yes. That was a long time ago. But they all went apeshit and called Doctor Zee and took all the sharp things away from me and all that horse shit.” He blinked. “Sorry. Poop. Horse poop.” He threw up a hand. “Anyway, it turned out to be a good thing, because he’s easy to talk to. So. After a few sessions with the counsellor that had not helped- and how could they, for I lied to her about the cause of my stress- she suggested that I try writing down my feelings and thoughts, then burn the letter to myself, symbolically ending that chapter of my life. She claimed it was a powerful tool, that organising my jumbled mind and emotions then destroying them would be cathartic; I had nothing to loose, and so I rose in the early hours of the night, went down to the kitchen table, and began to write in my flowing hand.I hate this, I began. Ever since that morning, I can't get Brandon out of my head. Nobody's ever been willing to fight like that for me, put everything on the line for me. He was so strong, so brave, so handsome there- and he was naked. A mother should never see her son like that, not after he becomes a man. And oh, what a man! Big and strong, and not just in his physique!I scribbled on and on, trying desperately to exorcise my fantasies by pinning them to.
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